Peter Cook Quotes (1937-1995)

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About Peter Cook

Peter Edward Cook (17 November 1937 – 9 January 1995) was an English satirist, writer and comedian who is commonly regarded as the father of the British satire boom of the 1960s. He has frequently been referred to by modern British comedians as their greatest inspiration. He first came to notice in the revue Beyond the Fringe.

Best Peter Cook Quotes

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Explore our curated collection of the most famous and impactful Peter Cook quotes.

“Have you the wing?”
“And the magic word: Julie Andrews!”
“And wuv, twue wuv, wiww fowwow you fowevah —”
“Tell God not to go away. I'll be back in a minute.”
“I've done a good deed. I gave that little twit his soul back. Wasn't that generous?”
“What terrible sins I have working for me. I suppose it's the wages.”
“You are now to retire, as indeed should I, carefully to consider your verdict of "Not Guilty".”
“Now, then, what'd you like to be first? Prime Minister? Oh, no — I've made that deal already.”
“Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam.”
“Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony.”
“I am blind, but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as broil. I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again.”
Peter Cook
“You realize that suicide's a criminal offense — In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it.”
“You know, I go to the theatre to be entertained... I don’t want to see plays about rape, sodomy and drug addiction... I can get all that at home.”
Peter Cook
“Poor old Spotty Muldoon. He thought of splitting the atom the other day. If only he could have had the idea about thirty years ago, he'd have made a bloody fortune.”
Peter Cook
“I may have done some other things as good but I am sure none better. I haven't matured, progressed, grown, become deeper, wiser, or funnier. But then, I never thought I would.”
“There was a time when I used to get lots of ideas... I thought up the Seven Deadly Sins in one afternoon. The only thing I've come up with recently is advertising.”
Peter Cook
“It's the standard contract. Gives you seven wishes in accordance with the mystic rules of life. Seven Days of the Week, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Seas, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers...”
“If there's one thing I can't bear, it's when hundreds of old men come creeping in through the window in the middle of the night and throw all manner of garbage over me. I can't bear that.”
“The thing that makes you know that Vernon Ward is a good painter is if you look at his ducks, you can see the eyes follow you around the room.”
“We shall move about in people's rooms and say, "Excuse me, we are the World Domination League. May we dominate you?" Then, if they say "Get out," of course we give up. Well, you have to give up if you're told to get out.”
Peter Cook
“If I did become Minister of Nudism, I'd be allowed to be on television every evening around nine thirty. I'd come on and say "Good evening. This is the Minister of Nudism. Take off your clothes and begin to dance about."”
Peter Cook
“I've always been after the trappings of great luxury. But all I've got hold of are the trappings of great poverty. I've got hold of the wrong load of trappings, and a rotten load they are too, ones I could have very well done without.”
“We believe this to be the work of thieves, and I'll tell you why. The whole pattern is very reminiscent of past robberies where we have found thieves to be involved. The tell-tale loss of property — that's one of the signs we look for.”
“I could have been a Judge, but I never had the Latin for the judgin'. I never had it, so I'd had it, as far as being a judge was concerned... I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.”
Peter Cook
“If a dog starts biting you, you can't kick it up the throat like it deserves. People always say "Oh dear, poor little dog, he was only trying to be friendly. That's the way he tries to be friendly, sniffing at your ankles and biting you, you cruel, wicked man."”

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Peter Cook on World domination 2 quotes

“Total domination of the world by 1958.”
Peter Cook
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Quotes About Peter Cook

Gain deeper perspective through quotes about Peter Cook from others.

Richard Ingrams on Peter Cook

“It is a sad fact that when people are really enjoying themselves and laughing immoderately, they can afterwards remember very little of the conversation, very few of the jokes. There was the famous occasion when Peter addressed a group of revellers at a lunch celebrating 25 years of Private Eye. Almost everyone who was there, myself included, will tell you it was the funniest, most brilliant speech they had ever heard. But ask us to recall the jokes and there will be a complete blank. Peter's funniest performances were generally of this impromptu, unscripted variety.”
Peter Cook

Clive James on Peter Cook

“He got used early to the adulation of a wide public and eventually decided that he could do without it; long before the end, fame had to chase him far harder than he chased it. But among his fellow practitioners his lustre was undimmed, unequalled. and unchallenged. … Just as the astronauts riding up on their rockets all worshipped Chuck Yeager, the jet pilot who never joined them in space because he flew too well with wings, so the media millionaires all knew that Cook was the unsurpassable precursor who had done it all before they did, and done it better.”
Peter Cook

Alan Bennett on Peter Cook

“Peter never had any regrets in his life. I never heard him voice any regrets. He didn't regret the fact that he lost his early facility, he didn't regret the fact that he lost his looks, which he did quite spectacularly, he didn't regret the fact that Dudley had gone on to fame and fortune in Hollywood. The only regret he regularly voiced was that, at the house we all shared in Fairfield, Connecticut in 1963, he'd saved David Frost from drowning.”
Peter Cook

Mike Myers on Peter Cook

“I didn't know dirty words could be done that artfully.”
Peter Cook

Ned Sherrin on Peter Cook

“Obviously, he was the first — he was the Governor. Right from the start with those very precocious sketches for the Cambridge Footlights and through Beyond the Fringe, he was an exceptional talent... Every 10 years or so you always get a new generation of comedians but they all acknowledge their debt to Peter.”

About Peter Cook

Peter Edward Cook (17 November 1937 – 9 January 1995) was an English satirist, writer and comedian who is commonly regarded as the father of the British satire boom of the 1960s. He has frequently been referred to by modern British comedians as their greatest inspiration. He first came to notice in the revue Beyond the Fringe.