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Zach Galifianakis Quotes (1969-)
Actor, Writer
About Zach Galifianakis
Zachary Knight "Zach" Galifianakis (born October 1, 1969) is a Greek-American comedian, actor and writer.
Best Zach Galifianakis Quotes
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Explore our curated collection of the most famous and impactful Zach Galifianakis quotes.
“I failed kindergarten because I couldn't spell my last name.”
“I was named after my grandad. Yes, my name is Zach Grandad Galifianakis.”
“At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?”
“Hello, my name is Zach Galifianakis, and I hope I'm pronouncing that right.”
“My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.”
“I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean.”
“I'm going to do all new, fresh material...you guys been keeping up with this O.J. thing?”
“This is my impression of a Southern woman. "Tsk, I am so mad at the Taliban right now!"”
“Seriously!, this is a DVD! I need dinosaurs, thunder, race wars, something! Dammit, I gotta sell this motherfucker.... 36.63.”
“I want to combine the NAACP with Mothers Against Drunk Driving. It's called Mothers Against the Advancement of Colored People.”
“The only time it's ok to yell out 'I have diarrhea' is when you're playing Scrabble...because it's worth a shitload of points.”
“Did you ever wake up with an erection...and then you realize you're just in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"”
“I wear a lot of Axe body spray, but I live in a black neighborhood. Over there, they call it Ask body spray. If you don't get that joke, then you're not racist.”
About Zach Galifianakis
Zachary Knight "Zach" Galifianakis (born October 1, 1969) is a Greek-American comedian, actor and writer.