Kurt Vonnegut Quotes 116 Sourced Quotes

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (November 11 1922 – April 11 2007) was an American novelist known for works blending satire, black comedy, and science fiction.

Here are 116 real Kurt Vonnegut quotes ordered by their popularity online. The most quoted quotes on the web appear first. Questionable and fake quotes are excluded. Sources and related information are shown after each quote. We hope you find these quotes useful. If there is anything we can do to improve this article, your feedback is welcome. If you find these quotes helpful, please share them.

1. “‘Things don't stay the way they are,’ said Finnerty. ‘It's too entertaining to try to change them.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#1

Source: Player Piano (1952): All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Avon (Bard Books) Chapter 34 (p. 313)

2. “Wars would be a lot better, I think, if guys would say to themselves sometimes ‘Jesus — I'm not going to do that to the enemy. That's too much.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#2

Source: Happy Birthday, Wanda June (1970): A play, performed in New York City from October 7, 1970 - March 14, 1971 "Col. Looseleaf Harper"

3. “‘That was the strength of the Nazis,’ she said. ‘They understood God better than anyone. They knew how to make him stay away.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Jailbird (1979)

4. “The sermon was based on what he claimed was a well-known fact, that there were no Atheists in foxholes. I asked Jack what he thought of the sermon afterwards, and he said, ‘There's a Chaplain who never visited the front.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#4

Source: Hocus Pocus (1990)

5. “Many people need desperately to receive this message: ‘I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people don't care about them. You are not alone.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Timequake (1997): These are just a few samples, for more from this work see: Timequake

6. “My father said ‘When in doubt, castle.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

7. “I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Various interviews "Knowing What's Nice", an essay from In These Times (2003)

8. “When you're dead you're dead.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Mother Night (1961) Introduction (1966)

9. “Busy, busy, busy.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cat's Cradle (1963): Full title: Cat's Cradle These are just a sample for more from this work see: Cat's Cradle

10. “It was Trout’s fantasy that somebody would be outraged by the footprints. This would give him the opportunity to reply grandly, ‘What is it that offends you so? I am simply using man’s first printing press. You are reading a bold and universal headline which says ,'I am here, I am here, I am here.'’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday!

11. “Here was what Kilgore Trout cried out to me in my father's voice: ‘Make me young, make me young, make me young!’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday! Last line

12. “‘We're having a celebration, so all sorts of things have been said which are not true,’ I said. ‘That's how to act at a party.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Bluebeard (1987)

13. “I don't care if I'm remembered or not when I'm dead. (A scientist I knew at General Electric, who was married to a woman named Josephine, said to me, ‘Why should I buy life insurance? If I die, I won't care what's happening to Jo. I won't care about anything. I'll be dead.’)”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#13

Source: Fates Worse than Death (1991)

14. “Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Slaughterhouse-Five (1969): Full title: Slaughterhouse-Five, Or The Children's Crusade : A Duty-dance with Death These are just a few samples, for more from this work see Slaughterhouse-Five

15. “I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, ‘Please — a little less love, and a little more common decency.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Slapstick (1976): Full title: Slapstick, or Lonesome No More Prologue

16. “I don't know about you, but I practice a disorganized religion. I belong to an unholy disorder. We call ourselves ‘Our Lady of Perpetual Astonishment.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

17. “‘All people are insane,’ he said. ‘They will do anything at any time, and God help anybody who looks for reasons.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#17

Source: Mother Night (1961)

18. “Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you've got to be kind.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (1965): Full title: God Bless You, Mr Rosewater, or Pearls Before Swine

19. “Drawn crudely in the dust of three window-panes were a swastika, a hammer and sickle, and the Stars and Stripes. I had drawn the three symbols weeks before, at the conclusion of an argument about patriotism with Kraft. I had given a hearty cheer for each symbol, demonstrating to Kraft the meaning of patriotism to, respectively, a Nazi, a Communist, and an American. ‘Hooray, hooray, hooray,’ I'd said.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Mother Night (1961)

20. “‘I had hoped, as a broadcaster, to be merely ludicrous, but this is a hard world to be ludicrous in, with so many human beings so reluctant to laugh, so incapable of thought , so eager to believe and snarl and hate. So many people wanted to believe me!’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Mother Night (1961)

21. “Nothing in this book is true.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cat's Cradle (1963): Full title: Cat's Cradle These are just a sample for more from this work see: Cat's Cradle

22. “‘Poo-Tee-Weet?’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Slaughterhouse-Five (1969): Full title: Slaughterhouse-Five, Or The Children's Crusade : A Duty-dance with Death These are just a few samples, for more from this work see Slaughterhouse-Five Final Line

23. “Listen: The waitress brought me another drink. She wanted to light my hurricane lamp again. I wouldn't let her. ‘Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?’ she asked me. ‘The big show is inside my head,’ I said”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday!

24. “‘I wish I had been born a bird instead,’ he said. ‘I wish we had all been born birds instead.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Hocus Pocus (1990)

25. “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source and Related Info: Mother Night (1961) Introduction (1966)
• Sometimes misquoted as: Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.

26. “My last words? ‘Life is no way to treat an animal, not even a mouse.’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: I Love You, Madame Librarian (2004): Original article from In These Times (6 August 2004)

27. “Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cat's Cradle (1963): Full title: Cat's Cradle These are just a sample for more from this work see: Cat's Cradle Chapter 124: Frank's Ant Farm

28. “And so on.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday! recurring phrase

29. “We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday! Kilgore Trout's epitaph

30. “Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#30

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Source: A Man Without a Country (2005) A close paraphrase of this (beginning "Do not use...") is repeated in a commencement address at Cloves Hall, 27 April 2007, as reprinted in Armageddon in Retrospect

31. “A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959)

32. “Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#32

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Source: Mother Night (1961)

33. “Peculiar Travel Suggestions are Dancing Lessons From God”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cat's Cradle (1963): Full title: Cat's Cradle These are just a sample for more from this work see: Cat's Cradle

34. “So it goes.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#34

Source: Slaughterhouse-Five (1969): Full title: Slaughterhouse-Five, Or The Children's Crusade : A Duty-dance with Death These are just a few samples, for more from this work see Slaughterhouse-Five Recurring statement throughout the novel on the subject of life, death and mortal existence.

35. “What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Palm Sunday (1981): An Autobiographical Collage''' "Thoughts of a Free Thinker", commencement address, Hobart and William Smith Colleges (26 May 1974)

36. “We could have saved the earth, but we were too damned cheap.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: If This Isn't Nice, What Is?: Advice for the Young (2013)

37. “Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Hocus Pocus (1990)

38. “I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it’s a very poor scheme for survival.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#38

Source: Various interviews As quoted in The Observer [London] (27 December 1987)

39. “There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959)

40. “Hi Ho”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Slapstick (1976): Full title: Slapstick, or Lonesome No More Prologue, and a recurring phrase throughout the book.

41. “I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959)

42. “Fish! Fish! Fish!”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Galápagos (1985)

43. “Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the Universe.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Hocus Pocus (1990)

44. “One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cold Turkey (2004): Essay Cold Turkey at In These Times (10 May 2004)

45. “Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Bluebeard (1987) p. 168

46. “How embarrassing to be human.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Hocus Pocus (1990)

47. “All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Timequake (1997): These are just a few samples, for more from this work see: Timequake

48. “For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course that’s Moses, not Jesus. I haven’t heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere. ‘Blessed are the merciful’ in a courtroom? ‘Blessed are the peacemakers’ in the Pentagon? Give me a break!”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cold Turkey (2004): Essay Cold Turkey at In These Times (10 May 2004)

49. “High school is closer to the core of the American experience than anything else I can think of.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Various interviews Introduction to Our Time Is Now: Notes From the High School Underground, John Birmingham, ed. (1970)

50. “Every passing hour brings the Solar System forty-three thousand miles closer to Globular Cluster M13 in Hercules — and still there are some misfits who insist that there is no such thing as progress.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959) Dedication page

51. “Charm was a scheme for making strangers like and trust a person immediately, no matter what the charmer had in mind.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday! page 19

52. “Trout trudged onward, a stranger in a strange land. His pilgrimage was rewarded with new wisdom, which would never have been his had he remained in his basement in Cohoes. He learned the answer to a question many human beings were asking themselves so frantically: ‘What's blocking the traffic on the westbound barrel of the Midland City stretch of the Interstate?’”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday!

53. “There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cold Turkey (2004): Essay Cold Turkey at In These Times (10 May 2004)

54. “There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't' know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

55. “We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

56. “If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Various interviews As quoted in "Vonnegut's Blues For America" Sunday Herald (7 January 2006)

57. “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers — joined in the serious business of keeping our food, shelter, clothing and loved ones from combining with oxygen.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (1965): Full title: God Bless You, Mr Rosewater, or Pearls Before Swine "Eliot Rosewater" to a group of volunteer firemen.

58. “To be the eyes and ears and conscience of the Creator of the Universe, you fool.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#58

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#58

Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday! Kilgore Trout's unwritten reply to the question "What is the purpose of life?"

59. “The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don’t acknowledge this. They claim membership in two imaginary parties, the Republicans and the Democrats, instead.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Use APA (American Psychological Association) for education, psychology, and the sciences.

Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#59

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Source: Wampeters, Foma & Granfalloons (1974) "In a Manner that Must Shame God Himself"

60. “The telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#60

Source: Various interviews Interviewed by J. Rentilly, "The Best Jokes Are Dangerous", McSweeny's (September 2002)

61. “The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#61

Source: Various interviews As quoted in "Kurt Vonnegut's 'Stardust Memory'" by Harvey Wasserman in The Free Press (4 March 2006); In actuality, Hitler also wasn't elected by a clear majority vote. Although the Nazi Party was elected to the largest number of seats in the Reichstag, it did not have a majority, and could only form a government through a coalition. Eventually, Hitler was appointed as Chancellor by President Paul von Hindenburg, and used that position as leverage to gain dictatorial powers.

62. “And a step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#62

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#62

Source: Player Piano (1952): All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Avon (Bard Books) Chapter 32 (p. 295)

63. “A sum of money is a leading character in this tale about people, just as a sum of honey might properly be a leading character in a tale about bees.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#63

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#63

Source: God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater (1965): Full title: God Bless You, Mr Rosewater, or Pearls Before Swine Opening line of novel.

64. “I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone. I get drunk, and I drive my wife away with a breath like mustard gas and roses. And then, speaking gravely and elegantly into the telephone, I ask the telephone operators to connect me with this friend or that one, from whom I have not heard in years.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#64

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#64

Source: Slaughterhouse-Five (1969): Full title: Slaughterhouse-Five, Or The Children's Crusade : A Duty-dance with Death These are just a few samples, for more from this work see Slaughterhouse-Five

65. “Roses are red And ready for plucking You're sixteen And ready for high school.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#65

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#65

Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday!

66. “Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#66

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#66

Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday!

67. “George W. Bush has gathered around him upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#67

Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

68. “I think that novels that leave out technology misrepresent life as badly as Victorians misrepresented life by leaving out sex.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#68

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#68

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#68

Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

69. “The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#69

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#69

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#69

Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959)

70. “The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#70

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#70

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#70

Source: Welcome to the Monkey House (1968): A collection of previously published short stories''' Preface

71. “Robert Kennedy, whose summer home is eight miles away from the home I live in all year round, was shot two nights ago. He died last night. So it goes. Martin Luther King was shot a month ago. He died, too. So it goes. And everyday my government gives me a count of corpses created by the military service in Vietnam. So it goes. My father died many years ago now — of natural causes. So it goes. He was a sweet man. He was a gun nut, too. He left me his guns. They rust.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#71

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#71

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#71

Source: Slaughterhouse-Five (1969): Full title: Slaughterhouse-Five, Or The Children's Crusade : A Duty-dance with Death These are just a few samples, for more from this work see Slaughterhouse-Five

72. “I can have oodles of charm when I want to.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#72

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#72

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Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday! page 20

73. “Ideas or the lack of them can cause disease.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#73

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#73

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#73

Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday!

74. “Teachers of children in the United States of America wrote this date on blackboards again and again, and asked the children to memorize it with pride and joy: 1492. The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#74

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#74

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#74

Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday!

75. “Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go looking for it, and I think it can often be poisonous.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#75

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#75

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#75

Source: Slapstick (1976): Full title: Slapstick, or Lonesome No More Prologue

76. “If you can do no good, at least do no harm.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#76

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#76

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#76

Source: Slapstick (1976): Full title: Slapstick, or Lonesome No More

77. “I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Jailbird (1979) p. 14

78. “What is flirtatiousness but an argument that life must go on and on and on?”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Jailbird (1979) p. 24

79. “You were sick, but now you're well, and there's work to do.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Timequake (1997): These are just a few samples, for more from this work see: Timequake Kilgore's Creed

80. “As in my other works of fiction: All persons living and dead are purely coincidental, and should not be construed. No names have been changed in order to protect the innocent. Angels protect the innocent as a matter of Heavenly routine.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Bagombo Snuff Box (1999)

81. “Humor is an almost physiological response to fear.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

82. “If I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, ‘Kurt is up in heaven now.’ That's my favorite joke.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#82

Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

83. “I was taught in the sixth grade that we had a standing army of just over a hundred thousand men and that the generals had nothing to say about what was done in Washington. I was taught to be proud of that and to pity Europe for having more than a million men under arms and spending all their money on airplanes and tanks. I simply never unlearned junior civics. I still believe in it. I got a very good grade.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Various interviews As quoted by James Lundquist in Kurt Vonnegut (1971)

84. “Well, I've worried some about, you know, why write books … why are we teaching people to write books when presidents and senators do not read them, and generals do not read them. And it's been the university experience that taught me that there is a very good reason, that you catch people before they become generals and presidents and so forth and you poison their minds with … humanity, and however you want to poison their minds, it's presumably to encourage them to make a better world.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Various interviews "A Talk with Kurt Vonnegut. Jr." by Robert Scholes in The Vonnegut Statement (1973) edited by Jerome Klinkowitz and John Somer October 1966), later published in Conversations With Kurt Vonnegut (1988), p. 123

85. “1. Find a subject you care about. 2. Do not ramble, though. 3. Keep it simple. 4. Have the guts to cut. 5. Sound like yourself. 6. Say what you mean to say. 7. Pity the readers.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Various interviews As quoted in Science Fictionisms (1995), compiled by William Rotsler

86. “I do feel that evolution is being controlled by some sort of divine engineer. I can't help thinking that. And this engineer knows exactly what he or she is doing and why, and where evolution is headed. That’s why we’ve got giraffes and hippopotami and the clap.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#86

Source: Various interviews On evolution vs. "intelligent design", interviewed by Jon Stewart, The Daily Show (13 September 2005)

87. “Where is home? I've wondered where home is, and I realized, it's not Mars or someplace like that, it's Indianapolis when I was nine years old. I had a brother and a sister, a cat and a dog, and a mother and a father and uncles and aunts. And there's no way I can get there again.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#87

Source: Various interviews As quoted in "The World according to Kurt" in Globe and Mail'' [Toronto] (11 October 2005)

88. “‘My theory is that all women have hydrofluoric acid bottled up inside,’ he wrote.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Various interviews Kurt Vonnegut, Writer of Classics of the American Counterculture, Dies at 84 by Dinitia Smith in the NYTimes on April 11, 2007http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/11/books/11cnd-vonnegut.html

89. “It was an appalling thought, to be so well-integrated into the machinery of society and history as to be able to move in only one plane, and along one line.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Player Piano (1952): All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Avon (Bard Books) Chapter 4 (p. 41)

90. “Everybody's shaking in his boots, so don't be bluffed.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Player Piano (1952): All page numbers from the mass market paperback edition published by Avon (Bard Books) Chapter 22 (p. 219)

91. “It is always pitiful when any human being falls into a condition hardly more respectable than that of an animal. How much more pitiful it is when the person who falls has had all the advantages!”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#91

Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959)

92. “Take Care of the People, and God Almighty Will Take Care of Himself.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959)

93. “There are plenty of good reasons for fighting,‘ I said, ’but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too. Where's evil? It's that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side. It’s that part of every man that finds all kinds of ugliness so attractive.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#93

Source: Mother Night (1961)

94. “He was a graduate of West Point, a military academy which turned young men into homicidal maniacs for use in war.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#94

Source: Breakfast of Champions (1973): Full title: Breakfast of Champions, Or Goodbye Blue Monday!

95. “I have been a soreheaded occupant of a file drawer labeled ‘Science Fiction’ … and I would like out, particularly since so many serious critics regularly mistake the drawer for a urinal.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Wampeters, Foma & Granfalloons (1974) "Science Fiction"; originally published in The New York Times Book Review, 5 September 1965

96. “I thought scientists were going to find out exactly how everything worked, and then make it work better. I fully expected that by the time I was twenty-one, some scientist, maybe my brother, would have taken a color photograph of God Almighty — and sold it to Popular Mechanics magazine. Scientific truth was going to make us so happy and comfortable. What actually happened when I was twenty-one was that we dropped scientific truth on Hiroshima.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Bennington College address (1970): Address to the graduating class at Bennington College; several of these quotes are cited in the Columbia Dictionary of Quotations as coming from an essay titled "When I Was Twenty-One", but, in fact, there is no essay of that title in Wampeters, Foma & Granfalloons.''

97. “A great swindle of our time is the assumption that science has made religion obsolete. All science has damaged is the story of Adam and Eve and the story of Jonah and the Whale. Everything else holds up pretty well, particularly lessons about fairness and gentleness. People who find those lessons irrelevant in the twentieth century are simply using science as an excuse for greed and harshness. Science has nothing to do with it, friends.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Bennington College address (1970): Address to the graduating class at Bennington College; several of these quotes are cited in the Columbia Dictionary of Quotations as coming from an essay titled "When I Was Twenty-One", but, in fact, there is no essay of that title in Wampeters, Foma & Granfalloons.''

98. “Jokes can be noble. Laughs are exactly as honorable as tears. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion, to the futility of thinking and striving anymore. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward — and since I can start thinking and striving again that much sooner.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Palm Sunday (1981): An Autobiographical Collage''' "Palm Sunday", a sermon delivered at St. Clement's Church, New York City (ndg), originally published in The Nation as "Hypocrites You Always Have With You" (ndg)

99. “As for literary criticism in general: I have long felt that any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel or a play or a poem is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae or a banana split.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Palm Sunday (1981): An Autobiographical Collage''' The People One Knows

100. “This is my principal objection to life, I think: It is too easy, when alive, to make perfectly horrible mistakes.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Deadeye Dick (1982) p. 6

101. “You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages — they haven't ended yet.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Deadeye Dick (1982) Closing lines

102. “Time is liquid. One moment is no more important than any other and all moments quickly run away.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Bluebeard (1987) p. 82

103. “I've got news for Mr. Santayana: we're doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That's what it is to be alive.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Bluebeard (1987) p. 91, referring to George Santayana: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"

104. “She was an alcoholic. I didn't blame myself for that. The worst problem in the life of any alcoholic is alcohol.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Hocus Pocus (1990)

105. “During my three years in Vietnam, I certainly heard plenty of last words by dying American footsoldiers. Not one of them, however, had illusions that he had somehow accomplished something worthwhile in the process of making the Supreme Sacrifice.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Hocus Pocus (1990)

106. “profanity and obscenity entitle people who don't want unpleasant information to close their ears and eyes to you.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Hocus Pocus (1990)

107. “Listen. All great literature is about what a bummer it is to be a human being: Moby Dick, Huckleberry Finn, The Red Badge of Courage, the Iliad and the Odyssey, Crime and Punishment, the Bible and The Charge of the Light Brigade.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cold Turkey (2004): Essay Cold Turkey at In These Times (10 May 2004)

108. “I am of course notoriously hooked on cigarettes. I keep hoping the things will kill me. A fire at one end and a fool at the other.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cold Turkey (2004): Essay Cold Turkey at In These Times (10 May 2004)

109. “Here’s what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey. And like so many addicts about to face cold turkey, our leaders are now committing violent crimes to get what little is left of what we’re hooked on.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: Cold Turkey (2004): Essay Cold Turkey at In These Times (10 May 2004)

110. “War is now a form of TV entertainment, and what made the First World War so particularly entertaining were two American inventions, barbed wire and the machine gun.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: I Love You, Madame Librarian (2004): Original article from In These Times (6 August 2004)

111. “Shrapnel was invented by an Englishman of the same name. Don't you wish you could have something named after you?”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: I Love You, Madame Librarian (2004): Original article from In These Times (6 August 2004)

112. “Napalm came from Harvard. Veritas!”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: I Love You, Madame Librarian (2004): Original article from In These Times (6 August 2004)

113. “Our president is a Christian? So was Adolf Hitler.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Source: I Love You, Madame Librarian (2004): Original article from In These Times (6 August 2004)

114. “Socialism is no more an evil word than Christianity. Socialism no more prescribed Joseph Stalin and his secret police and shuttered churches than Christianity prescribed the Spanish Inquisition. Christianity and socialism alike, in fact, prescribe a society dedicated to the proposition that all men, women, and children are created equal and shall not starve.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

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Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#114

Use APA (American Psychological Association) for education, psychology, and the sciences.

Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#114

Use Chicago style for business, fine arts, and history.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#114

Use MLA (Modern Language Association) style for the humanities, especially language and literature.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#114

Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

115. “We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

Cite This Quote

Use the following citations in bold to cite the above quote for reference purposes. To cite multiple quotes, use the cite this page section below.

For general use. A combination of the APA, Chicago and MLA citation styles.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#115

Use APA (American Psychological Association) for education, psychology, and the sciences.

Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#115

Use Chicago style for business, fine arts, and history.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#115

Use MLA (Modern Language Association) style for the humanities, especially language and literature.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#115

Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

116. “Evolution is so creative. That's how we got giraffes.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

Cite This Quote

Use the following citations in bold to cite the above quote for reference purposes. To cite multiple quotes, use the cite this page section below.

For general use. A combination of the APA, Chicago and MLA citation styles.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#116

Use APA (American Psychological Association) for education, psychology, and the sciences.

Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#116

Use Chicago style for business, fine arts, and history.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#116

Use MLA (Modern Language Association) style for the humanities, especially language and literature.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html#116

Source: A Man Without a Country (2005)

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Use the following citations in bold to cite quotations on this page for reference purposes:

For general use. A combination of the APA, Chicago and MLA citation styles.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html

Use APA (American Psychological Association) for education, psychology, and the sciences.

Vonnegut, Kurt (2017, November 15) Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes. Retrieved from https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html

Use Chicago style for business, fine arts, and history.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” QuotesCosmos.com, edited by QuotesCosmos, 15 November 2017, https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html

MLA Citation: Use MLA (Modern Language Association) style for the humanities, especially language and literature.

Vonnegut, Kurt. “Kurt Vonnegut Quotes: 116 Sourced Quotes.” Last modified November 15, 2017. https://www.quotescosmos.com/people/kurt-vonnegut-quotes.html

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