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Joe Rogan Quotes (1967-)
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About Joe Rogan
Joseph James "Joe" Rogan (born August 11, 1967) is an American podcaster, sports commentator, and stand up comedian.
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Explore our curated collection of the most famous and impactful Joe Rogan quotes.
βI am not homophobic; I am cock-conscious.β
βWhen did society forget that kids 'should not make life-changing choices' like gender surgery?β
βWith the help of two concepts that are traditionally opposedβscience and spiritualityβwe humbly reintroduce psychedelics back into the cultural dialogue.β
βWhatβs weird is that when you say pride, people immediately think of gay.How insidious they snuck it in, They slowly took over pride like they took over the rainbow.β
βYou know, what is the machine that runs this country? Because it's very clear that it's not as simple as elected representatives that are doing the will of the people.β
βThe targeting of migrant workers β not cartel members, not gang members, not drug dealers. Just construction workers. Showing up in construction sites, raiding them. Gardeners. Like, really? I donβt think anybody would have signed up for that.β
βI ask that you suspend any opinions, either negative or positive, about these compounds. Whatever you believe their value to be, they continue to have profound effects wherever we find their use, whether it's contemporary Western culture or in the Amazon rainforest.β
βI would like to know what is it like when you actually get into office? I would like to know things like what is it like versus perception? What is it actually like when you get in that building? What are you greeted with? When do you know that people are fucking with you.β
β"Do you know what I made the mistake of doing yesterday? I watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective with my 8-year-old and my 10-year-old," Rogan said, as their conversation veered towards controversial films. β¦ "I didn't realise how transphobic that fucking movie is."β
βJust because I'm staring deep into your birth canal does not mean that I'm fucked up. It means you should have paid more attention in high school and I have a dollar. I have four quarters and you have a bad job. Don't get pissed at me because you didn't learn how to type, you no-back-up-plan-having pain in the ass.β
βGuys don't know they're pussy whipped until it's too late. Until you do something that lets you know, like when you shush your friends: "Hey, man, remember that time we went to Vegas andβ¦?" "Dude, shut the fuck up about Vegas! The fuck are you doing?! The window's open, man! She's somewhere in the city!"β
βSome people don't believe in aliens. I do believe in aliens. But I believe they gave up on people a long time ago. Wouldn't you? I think there's a few liberal aliens out there, still hangin' in:
"Hey man, I think they're gonna pull it together. I think we should help them; give them more technology."
"No! Every time we do that, they blow shit up! Noooo".β
"Hey man, I think they're gonna pull it together. I think we should help them; give them more technology."
"No! Every time we do that, they blow shit up! Noooo".β
βHere's the craziest thing about life. This is the thing that nobody really considers: You know as much about what life is all about as anybody who's ever lived, ever. That's the craziest thing about us. We're all just kinda wandering through this, going, "You know what you're doing?" "Yes." "Oh, I do, too. I know what I'm doing." "Okay. Good, then." But really no one has a fucking clue.β
βWe have comic book bad guys. Osama Bin Laden is right out of a fucking comic book. Think about it: He's a billionaire genius β¦ who hates us! He lives in a cave. He used to work for the good guys and got all their secrets, and then he switched over to the dark side. And every time they almost capture him, he mysteriously gets away, and leaves behind a threatening tape. What is this, a fuckin' Stan Lee production?β
βNature is everything, okay? We don't like to think that our society is nature, because we created it. But guess what? This is no different than a fucking beehive; it's just more complicated, 'cause people are smarter than bees. Cities are natural, that's why they're everywhere. β¦ You know what's not natural? You β¦ in the middle of the mountains β¦ in the middle of the winter.β
βI personally think confession was just someone's idea of a sick joke. One dude came up with it, then he died, and he forgot to tell everyone he was only fuckin' around. Think about the idea of confession β¦ you take a guy who's not allowed to masturbate, or have sex, ever, then you make him wear a costume, then he has to sit in a dark booth, and listen to fuck stories whispered through a hole in the wall!β
βNo one is going to run against Trump on the Republican side and win because you are not going to get the Trump supporters. They are all in on Trump. Unless he has a stroke. Unless something horrible happens,People liked the ideas he was putting forward... everybody thinks there needs to be a wall. Even the Mayor of New York City is now calling to stop immigration into his city. This is a guy who called for it to be a sanctuary city.β
β[About Fear Factor] Every now and then I'll be right in the middle of it and just go "What the fuck am I doing? There's a girl with a mouthful of animal dicks, and I'm telling her 'you can get more in there', and she's listening to me. That's my job? Oh, my guidance counselor owes me a fucking apology. That dude lacked vision."β
βCanadaβs fucking falling apart. All the shit they did during COVID was just the total wrong direction. The trucker convoy, when they froze peopleβs bank assets β¦ they froze peopleβs bank accounts that donated money to the convoy. Thatβs crazy β¦ a peaceful protest, which everybody is supposed to be all about, these people were protesting COVID vaccine mandates and the lockdowns and they fucking went after the people that donated, which is crazy β¦ They shut their bank accounts down.β
β[On Dr. Phil] Ladies, please listen to me, don't you ever take relationship advice from a guy you don't wanna fuck, okay? Because let me tell you something: if you don't wanna fuck him, chances are a lot of other girls don't wanna fuck him either; and that guy is gonna say whatever he needs to to make you happy. β¦ He says crazy shit. He told this one man that masturbating is just as bad as cheating on his wife. I fucking shit you not! If I had a gun in my hand I woulda Elvis'd that TV.β
Joe Rogan Quotes by Topic
Find exactly what you are looking for by browsing this categorized list of Joe Rogan quotes by topic.
Joe Rogan on Barbie (film)
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Joe Rogan on Attempted assassination of Donald Trump
βIf there's ever been a real indication that we're in a simulation, it's this season of USA. It's the craziest season that's ever existed. So many twists and turns, so many plots, so many villains, so many incompetent bumbling fools.There's so much of it that seems fake. The female Secret Service agent who can't holster her weapon...This isn't real, this is writing, someone wrote this, this is a script.... It looks so fake, We [nearly] fell into chaos, and people think the Biden administration had Trump killed.β
What Joe Rogan Said About Others
Discover personal opinions Joe Rogan shared regarding contemporaries.
Joe Rogan on Michael Jackson
Joe Rogan on Alex Jones
βThis is the Alex Jones problem, Alex Jones is a very smart man with a lot of information at his disposal, however, sometimes he doesn't have the answer so he makes some shit up.β
About Joe Rogan
Joseph James "Joe" Rogan (born August 11, 1967) is an American podcaster, sports commentator, and stand up comedian.