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Jerome K. Jerome Quotes (1859-1927)
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About Jerome K. Jerome
Jerome Klapka Jerome (2 May 1859 – 14 June 1927) was an English author, best known for the humorous travelogue Three Men in a Boat.
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Explore our curated collection of the most famous and impactful Jerome K. Jerome quotes.
“All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men — more so, if possible.”
“It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.”
“I attribute the quarrelsome nature of the Middle Ages young men entirely to the want of the soothing weed.”
“I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.”
“Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.”
“A man rarely carries his shyness past the hobbledehoy period. Even if his own inward strength does not throw it off, the rubbings of the world generally smooth it down.”
“We do not hate, nor grieve, nor joy, nor despair in our thirties like we did in our teens. Disappointment does not suggest suicide, and we quaff success without intoxication.”
“in the unliterary grammar of life, where the future tense stands first, and the past is formed, not from the indefinite, but from the present indicative, "to have been" is "to be".”
“It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.”
“Swearing relieves the feelings—that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answer with her. She said I had no business to have such feelings.”
“The most extraordinary dream I ever had was one in which I fancied that, as I was going into a theater, the cloak-room attendant stopped me in the lobby and insisted on my leaving my legs behind me.”
“It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.”
“And fighting the battle of life is fighting against fearful odds, too. There are giants and dragons in this nineteenth century, and the golden casket that they guard is not so easy to win as it appears in the story-books.”
“They say — people who ought to be ashamed of themselves do — that the consciousness of being well dressed imparts a blissfulness to the human heart that religion is powerless to bestow. I am afraid these cynical persons are sometimes correct.”
Jerome K. Jerome Quotes by Topic
Find exactly what you are looking for by browsing this categorized list of Jerome K. Jerome quotes by topic.
Jerome K. Jerome on Weather 2 quotes
“But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.”
Jerome K. Jerome on Work 2 quotes
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. I love to keep it by me: the idea of getting rid of it nearly breaks my heart.”
Jerome K. Jerome on Eating
Jerome K. Jerome on Fashion
Jerome K. Jerome on Shyness
“The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.”
Jerome K. Jerome on French Revolution
“You can lock the door upon them, but they burst open their shaky lattices and call out over the house-tops so that men cannot but hear. You hounded wild Rousseau into the meanest garret of the Rue St. Jacques and jeered at his angry shrieks. But the thin, piping tones swelled a hundred years later into the sullen roar of the French Revolution, and civilization to this day is quivering to the reverberations of his voice.”
Jerome K. Jerome on Art criticism
“When a twelfth-century youth fell in love he did not take three paces backward, gaze into her eyes, and tell her she was too beautiful to live. He said he would step outside and see about it. And if, when he got out, he met a man and broke his head—the other man's head, I mean—then that proved that his—the first fellow's—girl was a pretty girl. But if the other fellow broke his head—not his own, you know, but the other fellow's—the other fellow to the second fellow, that is, because of course the other fellow would only be the other fellow to him, not the first fellow who—well, if he broke his head, then his girl—not the other fellow's, but the fellow who was the—Look here, if A broke B's head, then A's girl was a pretty girl; but if B broke A's head, then A's girl wasn't a pretty girl, but B's girl was. That was their method of conducting art criticism.”
What Jerome K. Jerome Said About Others
Discover personal opinions Jerome K. Jerome shared regarding contemporaries.
Jerome K. Jerome on Women
Jerome K. Jerome on Oscar Wilde
“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
Jerome K. Jerome on Jean-Jacques Rousseau
“You can lock the door upon them, but they burst open their shaky lattices and call out over the house-tops so that men cannot but hear. You hounded wild Rousseau into the meanest garret of the Rue St. Jacques and jeered at his angry shrieks. But the thin, piping tones swelled a hundred years later into the sullen roar of the French Revolution, and civilization to this day is quivering to the reverberations of his voice.”
About Jerome K. Jerome
Jerome Klapka Jerome (2 May 1859 – 14 June 1927) was an English author, best known for the humorous travelogue Three Men in a Boat.