am I feminine or am I gay. So the man who allows himself to do something perceived as womanly or faggoty is not a man anymore." - Meaning and context.">
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In a 1998 interview by James Crotty of Monk magazine
“

We don't say to women, "what do you mean you had a three way with two girls and a guy and you ate her pussy a little bit. You must be a lesbian." But we say to guys, "you mean you [touched a dick]. You must be a fag."… Straight male sexuality is all about this paranoia about am I feminine or am I gay. So the man who allows himself to do something perceived as womanly or faggoty is not a man anymore.

— Dan Savage

What It Means

This is a placeholder explanation generated by the low-overhead model. It interprets "We don't say to women, "what do you mean you had a three way with two girls and a guy and you ate her pussy a little bit. You must be a lesbian." But we say to guys, "you mean you [touched a dick]. You must be a fag."… Straight male sexuality is all about this paranoia about am I feminine or am I gay. So the man who allows himself to do something perceived as womanly or faggoty is not a man anymore." in the context of "In a 1998 interview by James Crotty of Monk magazine" to mean that wisdom is timeless.

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Source: Wikiquote: "Dan Savage" (Quotes) The 'What it means' explanation text was generated by Google Gemini Flash (accessed January 18, 2026). https://gemini.google.com/app

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#Dan Savage#mean#man#faghellip#sexuality#something#perceived#straight#paranoia#feminine#lesbian#touched
Dan Savage

About Dan Savage

Daniel Keenan Savage (born October 7 1964) is an American author, media pundit, journalist, and activist for the LGBT community. He writes Savage Love, an internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice column. In 2010, Savage and his husband, Terry Miller, began the It Gets Better Project to help prevent suicide among LGBT youth. He has also worked as a theater director, sometimes credited as Keenan Hollahan.