Charlie Sheen Quotes (1965-)

Explore our curated collection of the most famous and impactful Charlie Sheen quotes.

“Dan Raad means Business...”

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businessmeansraad

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“Can't is the cancer of happen.”

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cancerhappencant

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“I blinked and I cured my brain.”

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blinkedcuredbrain

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“I'm still alive, which is pretty cool.”

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prettystillalive

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“The scales of justice are in disarray[...]”

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disarrayjusticescales

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“I got magic and I got poetry in my fingertips.”

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gotfingertipspoetry

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“It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view.”

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lonelymighthere

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“They were like 'AA this' and I was like 'Bye bye that'”

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bye

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“I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front.”

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absolutevictoryquest

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“...from some distant memory as she stood there before you.”

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distantmemorybefore

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“Women are not to be hit. They're to be hugged and caressed.”

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caressedtheyrehugged

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“I don't believe in rock bottom. Rock bottom is like a fishing term.”

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bottomrockbelieve

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“You don't pay prostitutes to come to your house; you pay them to leave.”

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payprostituteshouse

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“Sorry my life is so much more bitchin' than yours. I planned it this way.”

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bitchinplannedsorry

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“There’s been a tsunami of media, and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.”

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surfboardtsunamimercury

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“I didn’t really believe I had "tiger blood" or "Adonis DNA." These were just jokes.”

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believereallyadonis

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“Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber. (The TMZ Show)”

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resentmentsrocketlives

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“I'm so tired of pretending my life isn't perfect and bitching and just winning every second.”

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pretendingbitchingperfect

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“I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee.”

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underwearstrafingdealing

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“(on his firing from Two and a Half Men) I would have fired my ass too. Well, maybe not like they did.”

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firingfiredmaybe

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“I expose people to magic, I expose them to something they're never otherwise going to see in their boring normal lives.”

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exposesomethingotherwise

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“It was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them just look like droopy-eyed armless children.”

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droopyeyedrichardschildren

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“I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That's how I describe myself." (Piers Morgan Tonight)”

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10000yearold7yearolddescribe

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“I’m grandiose. Because I live a grandiose life. I’m not 'aw shucks' … because I'm gnarly. (The Howard Stern Show)”

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grandiosebecausegrandioselifeim

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“They're trying to destroy my family, so I take great umbrage with that. And defeat is not an option. They picked a fight with a warlock.”

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destroyumbragewarlock

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Charlie Sheen Quotes by Topic

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Charlie Sheen on Winning

“I'm so tired of pretending my life isn't perfect and bitching and just winning every second.”

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pretendingbitchingperfect

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What Charlie Sheen Said About Others

Discover personal opinions Charlie Sheen shared regarding contemporaries.

Charlie Sheen on Donald Trump

“I have faith that good and decent people will make the right choice and the circus will leave town before it contaminates the oval office.”

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contaminatesdecentchoice

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Quotes About Charlie Sheen

Gain deeper perspective through quotes about Charlie Sheen from others.