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Scott Lynch (born April 2, 1978, in Saint Paul) is an American fantasy author, best known for his Gentlemen Bastards series of novels.
Born: April 2nd, 1978
Quotes: 75 sourced quotes total
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“What do you have to say to that?“ “Oh, very little, to be sure, Master Kosta. It’s so hard to think, overawed as I am with the sublime genius of your plan.“ “That bears some vague resemblance to sarcasm.“ “God forfend,“ said Jean. “You wound me! Your inexpressible criminal virtues have triumphed again, as inevitably as the tides come and go. I cast myself at your feet and beg for absolution. Yours is the genius that nourishes the heart of the world.“ “And now you’re—“ “If only there was a leper handy,“ interrupted Jean, "so you could lay your hands on and magically heal him.“
There’s no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated.
It was strange, how readily authority could be conjured with nothing but a bit of strutting jackassery.
Refusal noted and cordially declined.
Gods, all this maneuvering for moral advantage. You’d think we were married.
I’m going to give you a thorough examination. This may cause some discomfort, but don’t complain. I won’t be listening.
“You rule the Bondsmagi,” said Locke, incredulously. “Rule is too strong a term. We do occasionally manage to avert total chaos.”
As for history, we are living in its ruins. And as for biographies, we are living with the consequences of all the decisions ever made in them. I tend not to read them for pleasure. It‘s not unlike carefully scrutinizing the map when one has already reached the destination.
I’m sure we can communicate. I speak fluent hatchet.
Some mysteries are better off with their throats slit.
You’re ten pints of crazy in a one-pint glass.
Only gods-damned fools die for lines drawn on maps.
I find it best to make corpses of complications.
Push your luck, gorgeous, and eventually luck pushes back.
“You needed a bath,“ Jean interrupted. “You were covered in self-pity.“
Time went by with all the speed of a sleepless night.
People die when they get hanged. It’s why they hang them!
“Thank you very much, sir,” said Beth with nothing resembling actual gratitude.
I’m losing my taste for subtlety as fast as I’m depleting my supply.
The sun is up, and all that money out there won’t steal itself.
“Let’s be obvious. Me brute, you weasel.” “Agreed. You brute, me charming mastermind.”
I’m not without my sympathies, Lamora. They just don’t necessarily reside with you.
You can’t help being young, but it’s past time that you stopped being stupid.
Enlightenment! When it comes, it comes like a brick to the head, doesn’t it?
Time’s a river, Locke, and we’ve always drifted farther down it than we think.
When you’re a priest, people tend to see the robe rather than the man.
I make it a point never to trust men with weapons to my windpipe.
“What’s your hand look like?“ “A parched desert...How’s yours?“ “A wasteland of bitter frustration.“
“Here's to charming losers, I suppose.“ “If only we knew where to find some.“
Master Kosta...What a pleasure! Selendri tells me you’ve expressed an interest in getting killed.
I have always found the presumptions of others to be the best possible disguise—haven’t you?
It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming.
“I never would’ve thought—“ “Don’t think,” said Locke. “I’m paid to do that for you.”
“You need money that badly?” “As a tool, certainly. Its application is simple and universally effective.”
Nobody admires anyone else without qualification. If they do they’re after an image, not a person.
Are you really that arrogant, that logic is as optional as a fashion accessory for you?
Damn it, when will you learn that refusing to admit you’ve lost isn’t the same as winning?
“‘Commonly thought,’ you say? Many things are commonly thought, but perhaps not commonly thought all the way through.”
“I suspect that drink has made you impulsive.“ “Drink makes me see funny; the gods made me impulsive.“
The trouble with creating military dictators, Locke reflected, was getting rid of them after the immediate crisis was past.
“You’re trying to be charming again,” she said softly, “but I do not choose to be charmed, Locke Lamora.”
“This entire situation is insane.” Jean slammed his book shut in disgust. “It was insane before; now it’s become malicious.”
Next came the sort of kiss that banished the world to distant background noise and seemed to last a month.
“What happened wasn’t fair!” “Fair? You mean to claim with a straight face that you buy into that heresy, my boy?”
“Liquor does this? Even after you’re sober?” “A cruel joke, isn’t it? The gods put a price tag on everything, it seems.”
“I never even liked cats all that much.” “Surely you realize,” said Patience, “that cats are no great respecters of human opinion.”
I can’t live forever. Each time something like this affair lands in my lap, I suddenly recall that I don’t want to live forever.
“Why the hell are you here?” “A matter of conscience.” “Really?” said Locke. “Yours? You keep alluding to its existence. Somehow I’m not convinced.”
“When I get this door open, you’re dead, Jean!“ “When you get that door open? I look forward to many long years of life, then.“
“I say again, impossible.” “And I correct you again. Difficult. ‘Difficult’ and ‘impossible’ are cousins often mistaken for one another, with very little in common.”
”Oh, gods,” he cried. ”Oh, gods protect me! It’s you!” “Of course it’s me,“ said Locke. “You just don’t know who the hell I am yet.“
Most of us find it starkly ludicrous that the height of all possible ambition, to the ungifted, must be to drape oneself in crowns and robes.
Maybe this is going to complicate the hell out of things. So what? You’re the complication I want more than anything else. You’re my favorite complication.
I don’t want you to agree with me; I want you to use your misplaced acorn of a brain before the squirrel comes looking for it again.
“We already know how too—” “I don’t care what you think you know, Kosta. Until further notice, we’re gonna presume that you’re too dumb to count to one.”
Our patron has always sort of danced upon the notion that austerity and piety go hand in hand; down here, we show our appreciation for things by appreciating, if you get me.
“Government affairs are a bit beyond our experience,” said Jean. “Nonsense. You’ll feel right at home. What is government but theft by consent? You’ll be moving in a society of kindred spirits.”
“My responsibility was to tell you the truth, not wrap you in swaddling clothes.” She raised her hood again, half-veiling her face in shadow. “Nor protect you from your own badly aimed temper.”
In time, you’ll come to understand that a state like ours cannot afford to offer up a show of weakness for honesty’s sake; Duke Nicovante charges me with vouchsafing his security, not his conscience.
By rights he was still outrunning his age, still ahead of most men nearing threescore years, but he knew deep in his heart that there would never be any way of running fast enough.
“We were sent here to learn from you!” “You want a lesson, boy? If you find yourself being born, climb back in as quick as you can, because life’s a bottomless feast of shit.”
“There were difficulties.” “Oh,” she said, “so you’re the man whose life develops complications! I’ve so longed to meet you; the rest of us here in this world have it much too easy, I’m afraid.”
“Advice,” chuckled Doña Vorchenza. “The years play a sort of alchemical trick, transmuting one’s mutterings to a state of respectability. Give advice at forty and you’re a nag. Give it at seventy and you’re a sage.”
Locke put his head in his hands and sighed. “I don’t expect life to make sense,” he said after a few moments, “but it would certainly be pleasant if it would stop kicking us in the balls.”
They’ll be fine, and wiser for the experience. Young minds are brittle. Oldsters, now, we’ve had some disappointments. We’ve set aside the notion that we’re the center of the universe, so our minds bend with strain instead of meeting it head-on.
“Nikoros, your job this afternoon is to say yes to anything that comes out of my mouth. The more you rehearse this, the sooner it’ll become a smooth mechanical process allowing no time for painful reflection. Can you practice for me?” “Yes.” “You’re a natural.”
Sabetha threw her own shoes and costume components on the tiles near the bath. She retained only her black hose and a dressing gown. Locke did his best to look like he wasn’t staring, and she did an admirable job of pretending she wasn’t encouraging him.
“In my dreams I sign chits and file papers,” Nikoros muttered. “Then I awake to sign real chits and file real papers. I imagine my grave marker will be carved as a writing desk. ‘Here lies Nikoros Via Lupa, wifeless and heirless, but gods how he could alphabetize!’”
”Is this man, ah, senile?” ”He’s absolutely competent,” she answered coldly. ”I assure you I am,” roared Cordo. Anger changed his countenance utterly. ”And I will not be put off from business by assassins in my own bedroom! Now, you will either kill me immediately or negotiate the price of my release!”
“We met five years ago.“ Jean scratched his beard. “On a sea voyage. We became business partners out of sheer boredom. Since then we‘ve been inseparable.“ “Except that my plan calls for me to be plotting your death.“ “Yes, but I don‘t know that, do I? Boon companion! I suspect nothing.“ “Chump! I can hardly wait to see you get yours!“
“Yes, I like it a lot, it’s all worth having to bathe, even!” “Hmmm,” said Chains. “You live long enough for your stones to drop, then tell me if bathing is really such a hardship when the young women around you have bosoms that are more than theoretical.” “What? When my what?” “Never mind. That subject will be sufficiently confusing in its own good time.”
“That’s a sweet piece,“ said Jean, briefly forgetting to be aggravated. “You didn’t snatch that off a street.“ “No,“ said Locke, before taking another deep draught of the warm water in the decanter. “I got it from the neck of the governor’s mistress.“ “You can’t be serious.“ “In the governor’s manor.“ “Of all the—“ “In the governor’s bed.“ “Damned lunatic!“ “With the governor sleeping next to her...It is possible,“ said Locke with a sheepish grin, “that I have been slightly too bold.“
“You’re taking the world awfully personally. Didn’t Chains ever tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?” “The what?” “The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition.” “What is it?” “He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone’s got a place in the queue, you can’t get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that the line is actually circular.” “I’m just old enough to find that distressingly accurate.” “You see? It’s universal,” said Locke.
“Remember when I told you, for the first time? You nearly threw me off the roof—” “I thought you deserved it. You know, it’s an opinion I return to from time to time, whether or not a roof is available.” “You’re a difficult woman, Sabetha. But then, difficult women are the only ones worth falling in love with.” “How would you know? It’s not like you’ve ever been after anyone else—” “That part’s easy. I started with the most difficult woman possible, so there was never any need to look any further.” “You’re trying to be charming.” She squeezed his hand once, then pulled away. “I choose not to be entirely charmed, Locke Lamora.” “Not entirely?” “Not entirely. Not yet.”
How you deal with it I must and will leave to you, not out of despair or resignation but in deference to my conscience, that broken clock which I believe is now chiming one of its occasional right hours. I will not question your reasons. It is enough for you to tell me that you wish to keep this distance between us, and it will always be enough. Know that a single word will bring me running, but unless and until it pleases you to give it, I will expect nothing, force nothing, and contrive nothing contrary to your wishes. I desire you as deeply as I ever have, but I understand that the fervor of a desire is irrelevant to its justice. I want your heart on merit, in mutual trust, or not at all, because I cannot bear to see you made uneasy by me. Not for all the world would I do so again, and I leave it to you to tell me how to proceed, if and when you can, if and when you will.