Markiplier Quotes

40 Quotes Sorted by Search Results (Descending)

About Markiplier

Markiplier, real name Mark Edward Fischbach (born June 28, 1989), is an comedian, YouTube personality, and video game commentator.

Born: June 28th, 1989

Categories: Living people, Internet personalities, American actors

Quotes: 40 sourced quotes total

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Words (count)213 - 118
Search Results16210 - 300
"Damnit, I turned up your mike! Why did I turn it up?!"
"Nonononono…! You don't see anything…"
[hearing a noise] "I HEARD THAT!"
"NO THANK YOU!" "I DON'T WANT ANY!"
"Oh my god, that is so morbid!"
"Little piggy no no little piggy go home!"
"You're so weird!"
"…Why are you just there?"
" SHUT UP NURSE, make out with me."
"Jeezus, lady, you need to stop that right now. I do not take kindly to that…! You're being very creepy…!"
[sees something scary] "OH GOD NO! HOW ARE YOU DOING!?"
"Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier, and welcome back to Let's Play [video game title here]!"
[after finally pushing his first chair; pauses] "...OH, COME ON! How was I supposed to [know I had to] do that?! You son of a bitch!"
"Oh my god…! That was incredibly loud!"
"'Get Back And Do Your Job'. How 'bout you go fornicate yourself with a rake?"
"Oh, if that blue bastard, is just stickin' around -" [find a candle stand, which startles him] *gasp* "...That's new!"
"What is that? Is that Slender Man?" [gets closer] "Oh, no. I saw that thing; it looked like a giant, white box-head."
"Good god! Don't do that to me! I'm not in a disposition to handle that - wait a minute. …Uh… Lady…? Are you… Are you that lady, but in ghost -" [Cell phone in background] "Shut up; I don't have time for this!"
"Why is this good? Why is this good?" [Ao Oni bursts in.] "AAGH - ! …What the hell?! How was I supposed to do anything?! What was that?!"
"I hate mannequins! I hate 'em…"
"…Dammit, where the hell are these guys? They're nowhere to be found."
"'Press Control to calm yourself'." [breathes and presses Control key] "Oh, that just crouches me. How does that calm myself?"
"Aauuh, I don't wanna kill the kid!" … "Aw, that's so sad! I'm not gonna kill him. Well, I'm not gonna kill him first, anyway."
"I AM TOO PRO!"
"That guy was, like, in full body armor! How'd they kill him?"
"…And, as always, I will see you, in the next video. Bye-bye!"
Bob "muyskerm": [immediately after eating raw chicken; recoils] Oh, good gozzit! Oh my god!Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier (December 21, 2013), LAUGHING TIL IT HURTS, work: YouTube Mark: What? What d'you do? Bob: I-I… I ate it… Mark: Ohhhh. Bob: [gasps] Oh, my god, I just threw up! Mark: [starts laughing] Bob: That was the most horrifying thing that's ever happened to me! I think I have salmonella! …What the f…?! Mark: You know - Bob: Oh, my god! I'm throwing up! Do you hear that sound?! Mark: I do not! Bob: Oh my god, that's horrifying! [pulls off his headphones] Mark: I wish I was recording that! [...] Bob: Oh, no - oh, god, it's still happening! I'm gonna throw up! Ahhhhhh!
" Hello baaaaaaaaby. "
"That scared the buhjeezus outta me!"
[to his phone] "Shaddup!" [groaning, then laughing] "...It's my mom!"
[when the ghost woman appears behind him] "WWWWhoa-kay, back up there, lady…"
"…Well! Glad you're being so polite about this. You're very civil—oh my god! I didn't blo[ck]… I didn't mean to look down! Ugh! They're naked! They are sooo naked! Oh my god!"Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier Outlast Part 3, work: YouTube
[when he finally attacks the child] "No - aw, no, no, no! Aw, no! Auh, I feel so bad! But remember, guys: this is just a game…" [nerves himself, then puts the child out of his misery, to put it bluntly; palms his forehead in shame] "Nhhhh… That's awful!" [turns to find the ghost woman standing behind him again] "Jeezus! Stop that, lady!"
[opening squeaky doors] "Squeeeee…"
"Okay, that thing is gone. I think, I hope—" [ROAR-ing noise] "NO, IT'S NOT! AHHHHH!"WARNING: EXTREMELY SCARY
"If there was just - just - a purple monster sitting in a corner, waiting for me to walk over it, I would shit myself dry. I would absolutely lose all control of my bowels!"
"'Oh my god, you stabbed her! You killed her! HELP! HE KILLED HER! HE STABBED HER WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE!' …I'm very sorry."Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier (November 23, 2013), Calm Time | MOST DISTURBING GAME, work: YouTube
"! ...What was that?! What the hell was that?! What did you just throw at me?! ...[I] wasn't ready for that! Jeezus! Calm down!"Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier (September 4, 2013), Outlast | Part 1 | THE TERROR BEGINS, work: YouTube
[begins the game; gets startled by the enemy character flying away from him] "Okay—UH! …Well, that startled the crap outta me."Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier (September 15, 2013), SuperHOT, work: YouTube(2014), SUPERHOT - an FPS where time moves only when you move, retrieved: July 9, 2014
Dr. Wernicke: [when Miles Upsher finally dies] Gott im himmel… You…have become the host. Markiplier: Is that why you shot me? [Gunfire and flesh-rending in background cause him to recoil.]Markiplier, wikipedia:Markiplier (September 8, 2013), Outlast | Part 12 (Final) | THE END?, work: YouTube

End Markiplier Quotes