Boris Johnson Quotes

80 Quotes Sorted by Search Results (Descending)

About Boris Johnson

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (born 19 June 1964) is a British journalist and Politician, who serves as the current Mayor of London. He began his career as a trainee reporter on The Times but was sacked for making up a quote. From 1987 he worked at the Daily Telegraph where he became a leader-writer and assistant editor. He was editor of The Spectator from 1999, remaining in the job after his election in 2001 as MP for Henley until 2008. He was elected as London Mayor on 2 May 2008. Johnson is known for his unkempt appearance, effective use of humour, and eccentric approach to public life. He has attracted press interest over his private life.

Born: June 19th, 1964

Categories: British politicians, English people, Living people, Mayors, Journalists, Columnists

Quotes: 80 sourced quotes total (includes 5 about)

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Words (count)317 - 141
Search Results3210 - 110
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
Boris Johnson
• "You ask the questions", The Independent, 17 June 2004, p. 7.
• Asked "Admit it: you want to become prime minister, don't you?" by Amanda Findlay of Bolton.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.
Boris Johnson
• Francis Elliott, "Boris casts his vote: 'Spectator' editor tells 'Desert Island Discs' he'll quit to spend more time with David Cameron", Independent on Sunday, 30 October 2005, p. 3.
• Said in April 2005 during the general election.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
The President is a cross-eyed Texan warmonger, unelected, inarticulate, who epitomises the arrogance of American foreign policy.
Boris Johnson
• Unsigned editorial entitled "Infantile resentment" in The Spectator, 22 November 2003, p. 7.
• On George W. Bush.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Attributed)
I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around.
My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.
I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.
Boris Johnson
• Ephraim Hardcastle, Daily Mail, 22 July 2003, p. 13.
• Asked by pupils of Gillott's School in his constituency whether he would like the job of Prime Minister.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
Unlike the current occupant of the White House, he has no difficulty in orally extemporising a series of grammatical English sentences, each containing a main verb.
Yes, cannabis is dangerous, but no more than other perfectly legal drugs. It's time for a rethink, and the Tory party - the funkiest, most jiving party on Earth - is where it's happening.
Boris Johnson
• "No one obeys the speed limit except a motorised rickshaw", Daily Telegraph, 12 July 2001, p. 27.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.
Boris Johnson
• "Face it: it's all your own fat fault", Daily Telegraph, 27 May 2004, p. 24.
• On the dangers of obesity.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
Tremendous, little short of superb. On cracking form.
Boris Johnson
• David Charter, Joanna Bale, "Tories suggest door will open for Boris Johnson to return", The Times, 15 November 2004, p. 7.
• Asked how he was feeling after being sacked as Shadow Arts Minister for having misled Michael Howard.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
I could not fail to disagree with you less.
I'm backing David Cameron's campaign out of pure, cynical self-interest.
Boris Johnson
• "Conference Diary", The Independent, 5 October 2005, p. 7.
• On The 2005 Conservative Leadership Contest.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas.
The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition.
Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix, and stay conscious.
Boris Johnson
• Beth Pearson, "Has Howard got news for Boris?", The Herald (Glasgow), 13 November 2004, p. 15.
• Explaining why he quit after a week as a management consultant.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
The excitement is growing so much I think the Geiger counter of Olympo-mania is going to go zoink off the scale.
I forgot that to rely on a train, in Blair's Britain, is to engage in a crapshoot with the devil.
Look the point is … er, what is the point? It is a tough job but somebody has got to do it.
Boris Johnson
• Toby Helm, "Boris Johnson named shadow arts minister", Daily Telegraph, 7 May 2004, p. 12.
• On being appointed Shadow Arts Minister.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
I didn't see it, but it sounds barbaric. It's become like cock-fighting: poor dumb brutes being set upon each other by conniving television producers.
I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
Not even Mr Blair has been able to erode the unions conviction that we all have a “right” to a minimum wage… Both the minimum wage and the Social Charter would palpably destroy jobs.
It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.
They are like glistening wet otters frolicking.
Boris Johnson
• Telegraph column, 31 July 2012
• On woman's beach volleyball at the 2012 Olympic Games.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced, 2010)
Look, I wouldn't trust Harriet Harman's political judgement.
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative
Boris Johnson
BBC News Interview with Jeremy Paxman, BBC News, 7 May 2010
• Johnson on the possibility of a coalition after the United Kingdom general election, May 2010.
 • Johnson: Whatever type of Wall's sausage is contrived by this great experiment, the dominant ingredient has got to be conservatism. The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative, I would say. With plenty of bread and other bits and pieces.
  • Paxman: The question is whether it's a chipolata or a Cumberland sausage, I suppose, is it?
 • Johnson: This is fantastic to listen to. Enough of this gastronomic metaphor!
  • Paxman: You started it!
 • Johnson: Well, I've had enough of it!
  • Paxman: Haven't you got a city to run?
 • Johnson: I have got a city to run and that's exactly the point! The government of London will carry on irrespective of the temporary difficulties in providing a national government. Thank you.
  • Paxman: Bye bye, Boris!
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced, 2010)
Life isn’t like coursework, baby. It’s one damn essay crisis after another.
Dark forces dragged me away from the keyboard, swirling forces of irresistible intensity and power.
Boris Johnson
• "A wise guy playing the fool to win", Sunday Times, 16 July 2000, p. 17.
• While at the Daily Telegraph, explaining why his work was usually late.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
I’m very attracted to it. I may be diverting from Tory party policy here, but I don’t care.
Boris Johnson
• Andrew Pierce, The Times, 30 April 2005, p. 42.
• When asked about the 24 hour drinking legislation.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
It was a stellar performance. I may as well give up now and make way for an older man.
Boris Johnson
• Hickey, The Express, 12 May 2004.
• On his father Stanley's appearance on Have I Got News For You.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
There's no point trying to contain Boris. He's mayor of London, he can speak out if he wants to
That is the best case for Bush; that, among other things, he liberated Iraq. It is good enough for me.
Had it been us staging the Games, I don't think we would necessarily have done the switcheroo with the girl with the braces
Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
The proposed ban on incitement to “religious hatred” makes no sense unless it involves a ban on the Koran itself; and that would be pretty absurd, when you consider that the Bill's intention is to fight Islamophobia.
I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap dancing, and other related and vital subjects.
In 1904, 20 per cent of journeys were made by bicycle in London. I want to see a figure like that again. If you can't turn the clock back to 1904, what's the point of being a Conservative?
But here's old Ken - he's been crass, he's been insensitive and thuggish and brutal in his language - but I don't think actually if you read what he said, although it was extraordinary and rude, I don't think he was actually anti-Semitic.
Now can I ask you a question," "Why is it that we're lucky to have so many Chinese students? Is it because of the weather? Is it because we have so many French restaurants? Is it because we have so many communist bicycles?"
If Amsterdam or Leningrad vie for the title of Venice of the North, then Venice - what compliment is high enough? Venice, with all her civilisation and ancient beauty, Venice with her addiction to curious aquatic means of transport, yes, my friends, Venice is the Henley of the South.
I'm a rugby player, really, and I knew I was going to get to him, and when he was about two yards away I just put my head down. There was no malice. I was going for the ball with my head, which I understand is a legitimate move in soccer.
Boris Johnson
• Ed Harris, "Boris bites Herr legs...: The MP for Henley does his bit for Anglo-German diplomacy", Evening Standard, 4 May 2006, p. 9.
• On his tackle on German midfielder Maurizio Gaudino in a charity football match.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
As snow-jobs go, this beats the Himalayas.
What we hate, what we fear, is being ignored.
Boris was told to engage his brain before speaking in future.
About Boris Johnson
• Conservative Party official, quoted in "Black Dog", Mail on Sunday, 12 September 2004, p. 26.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (About)
Any seat would be mad not to take him. He's a terrific chap.
Boris Johnson
• "Keeping it in the family", Daily Telegraph, 23 January 2004, p. 29.
• On his father, Stanley Johnson's plans to become an MP.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
I can't remember what my line on drugs is. What's my line on drugs?
Boris Johnson
• "The Genelection Game", Sunday Mirror, 24 April 2005, p. 19.
• During the campaign trail of the 2005 general election.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
Old Man Howard, that Old Man Howard, he just keeps rolling, just keeps rolling.
Boris Johnson
• Andrew Pierce, "Boris on a roll", The Times, 29 April 2005, p. 40.
• When asked by The Oxford Student whether he sees anyone amongst his younger colleagues who would one day replace Howard.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
Labour's appalling agenda, encouraging the teaching of homosexuality in schools, and all the rest of it.
And that brings me to my final thank you which is of course to the people of London.
Not only did I want Bush to win, but we threw the entire weight of The Spectator behind him.
I advise you all very strongly - go for a run, get some exercise, and have a beautiful day.
Boris Johnson
• Valentine Low, "Shiver me timbers Boris", Evening Standard, 15 November 2004, p. 3.
• Cornered by reporters asking about his affair after a morning run.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
I'm having Sunday lunch with my family. I'm vigorously campaigning, inculcating my children in the benefits of a Tory government.
Boris Johnson
• "2-minute interview: Boris Johnson", The Guardian, 11 April 2005, p. 7.
• Asked whether he was canvassing at Sunday lunchtime.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
He's lost the plot, people tell me. He's drifting rudderless in the wide Sargasso Sea of New Labour's ideological vacuum.
Boris Johnson
• "Blair dead in the water? No such luck", Daily Telegraph, 29 April 2004, p. 24.
• On Tony Blair.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
And as for Ken, Mayor Livingstone, I think you have been a very considerable public servant and a distinguished leader of this city.
You shaped the office of mayor. You gave it national prominence and when London was attacked on 7 July 2005 you spoke for London.
I will work flat out from now on to earn your trust and to dispel some of the myths that have been created about me.
Ok, I said to myself as I sighted the bird down the end of the gun. This time, my fine feathered friend, there is no escape.
You are a self-centred, pompous twit. Even your body language on TV is pathetic. Get out of public life. Go and do something in the private sector.
About Boris Johnson
• Paul Bigley (brother of murdered hostage, Kenneth Bigley) to Johnson on Radio City in Liverpool. Quoted in Nigel Bunyan, "Have we got views for you, Mr Johnson", Daily Telegraph, 21 October 2004, p. 3.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (About)
Boris Johnson, people always ask me the same question, they say, 'Is Boris a very very clever man pretending to be an idiot?' And I always say, 'No.'
Most politicians, as far as I can work out, are pretty incompetent, and then have a veneer of competence, you do seem to do it the other way around.
This has been a marathon election as you can tell with a record turnout and I think it has been good for politics and it has been good for London.
We have a new team ready to go in to City Hall. Where there have been mistakes we will rectify them. Where there are achievements we will build on them.
I would like to thank first the vast multitudes who voted against me - and I have met quite a few in the last nine months, not all of them entirely polite.
Howard is a dynamic performer on many levels. There you are. He sent me to Liverpool. Marvellous place. Howard was the most effective Home Secretary since Peel. Hang on, was Peel Home Secretary?
Boris Johnson
• Ben Macintyre, "'Hello, I'm your MP. Actually no, I'm your candidate. Gosh'", The Times, 19 April 2005, p. 23.
• On Michael Howard.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
And I hope that everybody who loves this city will put aside party differences to try in the making of Greater London greater still. Let's get cracking tomorrow and let's have a drink tonight.
I have not had an affair with Petronella. It is complete balderdash. It is an inverted pyramid of piffle. It is all completely untrue and ludicrous conjecture. I am amazed people can write this drivel.
Boris Johnson
• Simon Walters, "Boris, Petsy and a 'pyramid of piffle'", Mail on Sunday, 7 November 2004, p. 7.
• Denying accusations of his having an affair with Petronella Wyatt.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
And I want to congratulate you Brian on your great common sense and decency with which you put your case and I do hope that it is not the end of our discussions about the police.
We are confident in our story and will be fighting this all the way. I am very sorry that Alastair Campbell has taken this decision but I can see that he got his tits in the wringer.
Boris Johnson
• Catherine Macleod, "Angry Blair takes on press", The Herald (Glasgow), 24 April 2002, p. 1.
• On Campbell's negative reply to the Spectator's report that the Government had influence the Queen Mother's funeral arrangements.
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)
Some readers will no doubt say that a devil is inside me; and though my faith is a bit like Magic FM in the Chilterns, in that the signal comes and goes, I can only hope that isn't so.
And as for those who voted for me, I know there will be many whose pencils hovered for an instant before putting an X in my box and I will work flat out to repay and to justify your confidence.
Where there are neglected opportunities we will seize on them, and we will focus on the priorities of the people of London: cutting crime, improving transport, protecting green space, delivering affordable housing, giving taxpayers value for money in every one of the 32 boroughs.
And I can tell you that your courage and the sheer exuberant nerve with which you stuck it to your enemies, especially in New Labour, you have thereby earned the thanks and admiration of millions of Londoners, even if you think that they have a funny way of showing it today.
And when we have that drink together which we both so richly deserve, I hope we can discover a way in which the mayoralty can continue to benefit from your transparent love of London, a city whose energy conquered the world and which now brings the world together in one city.
Who, according to JK Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter novels, was Harry Potter's first girlfriend? Who is the first person he kisses? That's right, Cho Chang, who is a Chinese overseas student at Hogwarts school," he said, to laughs and scattered applause. "Ladies and gents I rest my case."
Nor do I propose to defend the right to talk on a mobile while driving a car, though I don't believe that is necessarily any more dangerous than the many other risky things that people do with their free hands while driving - nose-picking, reading the paper, studying the A-Z, beating the children, and so on.
I do not for one minute believe that this election shows that London has been transformed overnight into a Conservative city but I do hope it does show that the Conservatives have changed into a party that can again be trusted after 30 years with the greatest, most cosmopolitan, multi-racial generous hearted city on earth in which there are huge and growing divisions between rich and poor.
Thank you very much Mr Meyer, Anthony Meyer that is. I want to thank you, I want to thank the police of course, and my wife Marina and my family, and my utterly brilliant campaign team, the Conservative GLA candidates — some of whom were extremely unlucky tonight — and of course the thousands of Conservative activists, the ward captains and knocker-uppers who did such an amazing job today, and indeed yesterday, rather.
I want to thank Sian [Berry, Green Party] and Lindsey [German, Left List] and Alan [Craig, Christian Peoples Party] and Gerard [Batten, UKIP], who have sometimes joined us for hustings, but mainly I want to thank my two colleagues in the strange triumvirate who have been trundling around London's church halls and TV studios violently disputing the meaning of multiculturalism and the exact cost of conductors. On which point I think I'm going to declare victory.
It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies; and one can imagine that Blair, twice victor abroad but enmired at home, is similarly seduced by foreign politeness. They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.
Chinese cultural influence is virtually nil, and unlikely to increase… Indeed, high Chinese culture and art are almost all imitative of western forms: Chinese concert pianists are technically brilliant, but brilliant at Schubert and Rachmaninov. Chinese ballerinas dance to the scores of Diaghilev. The number of Chinese Nobel prizes won on home turf is zero, although there are of course legions of bright Chinese trying to escape to Stanford and Caltech… It is hard to think of a single Chinese sport at the Olympics, compared with umpteen invented by Britain, including ping-pong, I’ll have you know, which originated at upper-class dinner tables and was first called whiff-whaff. The Chinese have a script so fiendishly complicated that they cannot produce a proper keyboard for it.
The problem is not that we were once in charge, but that we are not in charge any more... Consider Uganda, pearl of Africa, as an example of the British record. … the British planted coffee and cotton and tobacco, and they were broadly right... If left to their own devices, the natives would rely on nothing but the instant carbohydrate gratification of the plantain. You never saw a place so abounding in bananas: great green barrel-sized bunches, off to be turned into matooke. Though this dish (basically fried banana) was greatly relished by Idi Amin, the colonists correctly saw that the export market was limited... The best fate for Africa would be if the old colonial powers, or their citizens, scrambled once again in her direction; on the understanding that this time they will not be asked to feel guilty.
Boris Johnson
• Discussing his views on Africans and "Instant Carbohydrate Gratification" ''The Spectator 2 February 2002
• Source: Wikiquote: "Boris Johnson" (Sourced)

End Boris Johnson Quotes