Paul Blart: Mall Cop Quotes

“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015)”

“Peanut Blart and jelly! What, what, what's up, man?”

“[from trailer] Safety never takes a holiday.”

“[from trailer] Nobody knows this mall better than I do.”

“[headbutts criminal, groans] Nobody wins with a headbutt.”

“[talking to himself] What are you trained to do? Nothing.”

“Wikipedia: Paul Blart: Mall Cop”

“[to a villain] Hey you, Scuba-dooby-doo! [sends a scuba tank into a villain, knocking him out]”

“Y'know, my mother always said: "If you want something done right, waste the guy yourself." I'm paraphrasing, of course. You stay here.”

“[sees Paul hanging by a rope, being pulled up into the air ducts] I wish I had a bat. I would burst you open, see how much much candy fell out.”

“[after showing a Loch Ness Monster tattoo on his lower back that he got while drunk] It's the Loch Ness Monster. I don't drink.”

“Alright, you have all completed the written exam. However, you must now pass the obstacle course to be admitted into the training program. And remember, survive this and you're on the front lines of keeping New Jersey safe.”